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Take me back to Abita Springs
© 2005 Bobby Lounge

He was a Louisiana regional phenomenon,
women called him Tipi but his name was John
Packed up all the junk he strewed out in his yard,
he said I’m going West to become a movie star
Reduced to singing backup with Siamese twins,
he cried out “Take me back to Abita Springs”

CHORUS
Take me back to Abita Springs,
Carry me back to Abita Springs
Just take me down and let me rest forever,
Down on the banks of Abita River
INSERTION - If the twins dress alike,
why can’t I
Take me back to Abita Springs

Well the twins slip up Tipi went to drinking,
Didn’t realize just how far he was sinking
Till he became a poster boy for VD telethon,
Use some protection don’t wind up like John
They’d wheel him out on stage, “Tell em Boy, say anything,”
He’d cry out “Take me back to Abita Springs”
CHORUS WITH INSERTION - Cause if you pledge on TV when the telephone rings

Became a voodoo priest out in Tyler, Texas,
Stealing people’s wallets while the genuflected
But they ran out of state on a moral’s charge,
He was entertaining truckers in the parsonage garage
Lonely wheel chair tracks cross the desert plains,
Take me back to Abita Springs
CHORUS WITH INSERTION - Why can’t a holy man get into kinky things

Escaped to Rio de Janeiro on a Greyhound Cruise,
Ate some bad tamales got the Rio flu
Yeah nursed back to health by a Latin spit fire,
Her name was Poncho Villa played the electric sitar
Extension cord wet in a monsoon rain,
Knocked her castanets clear to Abita Springs
CHORUS WITH INSERTION - Electric enchilada like to fried off his blue jeans

Well Poncho had his baby and they named him Al Fresco,
Six months overdue come out dancing flamenco
Strapped some tap shoes to his tiny little feet,
He loved to tap in guacamole to a rumba beat
But they lost him one evening in some re fried beans,
Sent his sticky little shoes to Abita Springs
CHORUS WITH INSERTION - Al Fresco going down in some quicksand beans

Well he lost his little Poncho to a grease inspector,
Said “I knew she was getting slimy But I did not suspect her”, Commandeered a burro said “I got to go home”
But the donkey lost his mind around the Panama Canal Zone,
The mule was misdirected He thought he could sing,
He brayed out “My career will suffer in Abita Springs”
CHORUS WITH INSERTION - A mule with aspirations ain’t worth anything

Well Tipi hopped a freighter and he saw the world,
Met some communist Chinese out in Portugal
They toasted him with wine till his head was spinning,
Tattooed him all over with motorcycle women
He said “Before I got tattooed I just had splotchy skin”,
Take me back to Abita Springs
CHORUS WITH INSERTION - Tattoos begin to droop if you get too thin

He traveled far and wide searched high and low
vandalized a statue by Michael Angelo
Shot down in Great Britain on the palace grounds
Baying at the moon in the Queen’s night gown
The Queen said “We do not loan out our under things”
He said “Ma’am just send me back to Abita Springs”
CHORUS WITH INSERTION - I expected nicer lingerie from a Queen

Well Tipi disappeared he went underground,
Years went by he could not be found
Till they received a parcel at the Abita station,
It was a plastic tombstone with a single notation
“I have traversed the world in search of my elusive dreams,
Let my life served as example for what idle pleasure brings
And as my demise shall be soon forthcoming it seems,
Place my body beneath local landscape verdant and green
And on the plastic tombstone ever let my epitaph read,
‘Home at last, in Ponchatoula’”
CHORUS WITH INSERTION - I guess he must of got the names confused

CHORUS WITH INSERTION - Artesian water flowing through his veins

Take me back to Abita Springs
Carry me back to Abita Springs
Take me down and let me rest forever Carry me back to Abita Springs
Take me back to Abita Springs